Mail Order Hero (S5E2)

No incidents whatsoever to report.  Boring boring boring.  What hath happened to the show?

Adios, Johnny Bravo (S5E1)

Incident #42: Carol and Mike invite Alice to have hot chocolate with them, which Alice thinks is just really really great.  But then SHE has to make her own!  How can she possibly be happy with that?  In fact, everyone is fine with that!  Arrrrrrggghhhhh!  Alice, you idiot!  Why do you so willingly and happily continue to be tortured by these people?  Don't you see that if THEY want you to have hot chocolate with them, then it's up to THEM to make YOU the hot chocolate!  But noooooooooo.  You just keep going on as happy-go-lucky Alice falling into torture chamber after torture chamber until you end up just a blue pile of pulp on the corner of the laundry room floor over where the washing machine is.  Run away, Alice, and never return!  But I know you won't because you're the happy wacky slave!

The music in this show is so horrible that I want to ...

You Can't Win 'Em All (S4E22)

Incident #41: Alice has as much invested in the dinner they're preparing than Carol does!  Why is this such an atrocity?  Because more than likely Alice will not be participating in the dinner.  She'll definitely be making it, and perhaps she'll be serving it.  But my guess is that she won't even be around when the dinner is happening.  But then again, Mike and Carol might want to show off their slave to their dinner guests.  I guess we'll just have to see.  The main point is that Alice is the typical slave in that she identifies her happiness with the happiness of the family rather than having her own feelings.  Alice!  Get out of there ----- nnnnnnnnnnnooooooowwwwwwwww!!!  Huba Huba Huba

I've sort of been ignoring Purple Moments because there are several per episode and that isn't what this blog is about.  So I'm going to stop.

Cindy has a Purple Moment while planning her TV debut.

Oops

And then Jan has one while watching Cindy on teee veee.

Oops

 

The Great Earring Caper (S4E20)

Ah, the famous 420 episode.  Far out, eh?

But alas, it was yet another empty episode.  Better luck next time.

How To Succeed In Business? (S4E19)

No significant incidents to report.  A real bummer.

The Subject Was Noses (S4E18)

Incident #40: Alice is put on the spot, yet again, when Mike and Carol both ask her opinion about wallpaper.  Being the happy slave that she is, she want to please them both.  So she agrees with them both despite having complete opposite opinions.  Does that make any sense?  Not sure.  It makes sense to me and that's all that matters.

Goodbye, Alice, Hello (S4E10)

Incident #39: Alice is the reliable squealer.  She's put into a number of situations where it's either keep a promise or follow a direct order.  In each case, she follows the orders of her so-called employer.  The boys at one point comment that she's "some friend" but in truth, Alice is nothing more than a domestic laborer and a lowly one at that.  One cannot be friends with the help, paid or not paid.  No one is smart enough in this stupid fucking family to realize that they're putting her in the middle and making her feel like total crap AND it's completely THEIR fault!

An interesting symmetry moment.  Bobby says that Marcia and Jan said not to trust Alice, and Cindy says that Greg and Peter said not to trust Alice.  Do you see the amazing symmetry there?  Far out.

It's amazing to me that Alice is actually considering leaving the family.  But clearly she's terribly torn about it.  Just like the slaves of old, she knows that she can't run away, but she MUST run away.  This causes her great anxiety which is evidenced by her conversation with her fellow "housekeeper" Kay (who looks EXACTLY like what you'd think a maid is suppose to look like).

Kay looks like a housekeeper

The children are unrepentant because the truth is that one housekeeper is as good as another.  My colleague has announced that it's also as frequent and easy as changing best friends.

Marcia and Jan share a Purple Moment.  Here is a picture if the momentous event:

A double Purple Moment

This is a very difficult episode to describe because the atrocities go so deep.  Everything about it is as near to evil as I can imagine.  It actually does have a dark vibe to it that has been confirmed by independent agents -- so it's not just me who's feeling this.  But look at this picture of her right at the end.  The look on her face is one of extreme distress for having to grit her teeth.  She is very stiff and looking away as if she's thinking about how horrible it was that they so easily got her back.  It's a grimmace and not a very good one at that.  Take a look:

Alice grimmices

According to the American Heritage Dictionary, 1996 edition, to "grimace" means, "a sharp contortion of the face, expressive of pain, contempt, or disgust."

Career Fever (S4E9)

A very very very (very very) boring episode.  Must the suffering continue?

I think I slept through some of this.

Jan, The Only Child (S4E8)

Jan is pissed off and Purple at the beginning.

Cindy is later seen in a completely Purple outfit.  Way cool.  The purples being seen on this show are always very vivid.

Do the producers of this show realize that for the past dozen or more episodes, they've been boring as hell?

The Show Must Go On? (S4E7)

Cindy in a Purple Moment is witnessed by Sam and Jan.  Wow that kinda rhymes!

No significant incidents to report.  The only interesting thing about this episode was Mike's recitation of a poem.

Fright Night (S4E6)

Incident #38:  Alice is the target of a practical joke.  You see, once the kids are done with each other, they certainly can't play a "joke" on the parents, so logically all they have left is Alice.  During this incident, Marcia has yet another Purple Moment with a very nice and fuzzy top.  Anyhow, for some reason the kids are threatened or something by Alice telling them that she isn't afraid of anything.  This is something quite noble but of course the kids see it as a challenge to mess with The Help.  Carol -- for I think the first time -- is topped with a Purple Moment.  Lovey.  But this is only a partial incident because for reasons I can't explain, Carol and Mike don't blame Alice for busting the Head and the kids get punished!  Wowee mark this down on your calendar because this kind of stuff just never happens!

So except for the cool Head, this show was quite a bore.

Today I Am A Freshman (S4E4)

We open up with Purple Moment number one billion and one with Carol (I think for the first time since I've been keeping track) wearing a purple skirt!  Yehaw!

And check out this groovy shirt:

Carol wears a Very Groovy Shirt while Alice makes a funny face at her

And that pattern is just awesome.  Look what it does when I zoom in on a portion.

Stare at this long enough and you'll go insane

Incident #36: Alice once again is made to look the fool.  Dig that look of shock and horror!  It's really too bad she takes all of this abuse.  In this same scene, we see Marcia laughing at her in a sinister way, as if to say, "take that you lowly slave!"

Alice in her surprised Mushroom Head look

Incident #37: When all the girls get muddy and dirty from Peter's volcano, Alice rushes to get everyone towels to dry and clean themselves up.  But in their disgust, all the girls leave (except for Marcia who of course lives there and wouldn't leave anyhow).  No one bothers to think of Alice and we don't even see her bringing the towels back!  I can only hope that someone tells her before she goes to all that trouble.  My guess is that Carol takes care of Marcia and Alice is left looking the fool again.  YES!  In the next scene we see Alice running out the back door with a large pink towel in her hand and no one is there!  She looks confused for about 3 microseconds and then like  a retard eyes the volcano.  Oh my god, Alice, you're not going to ....... oh geez, she turns on the volcano and gets herself all dirtied up!  They portray her in these instances as being a complete idiot.  Beyond an idiot, if there is such a thing!  This is an example of Alice almost being dangerous in her stupidity.  Why do they do this to her and why doesn't she see what's right under her nose??!?!!

Alice the dirty slave

The Fender Benders (S3E23)

There are beginning to be as many Purple Moments as there are atrocities!  This time the intro scene shows Marcia in the same glowing purple outfit.  Then a bit later Cindy (once again!) is in full Purple.


This is another boring as hell episode otherwise, except for the court scene with those cool little cars with magnets on them!  Where can I get some of those?

My Fair Opponent (S3E22)

We see Marcia again with a Purple Moment.  Wow she always looks great that way but she really does tend to wear this outfit a little bit too often don't you think?  Alice, I'm sure, is washing them.

Then we yet again see Cindy in a Purple Moment.  Far out!

And then we see Molly, Marcia's friend presenting us with the third in a series of quick Purple Moments.  Upon closer inspection, I notice that she actually is wearing a red and blue stripe shirt!  From a distance, it looks purple, but from close up it looks red and blue.

Molly In A Mistaken Purple Moment

Molly clearly in a Red & Blue Shirt.  Damn!!!!

 Alice was seen once for about 30 seconds, dancing with Mike.  Ah yes, Alice the 2nd wife!